Chels and Ave

Our May Travels

2009-06-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

We visited five states over a one week time period in May...Let me explain...

I was feeling overwhelmed with studying for my boards- so I bought a plane ticket for Ave to go with my mom to visit Kansas. This would allow Ave to see her dad, spend more time with Nanny, and see Keith and Kristan's family while I buckled down and began preparing for my BIG TEST...

It worked out PERFECTLY. I drove up and spent the night in Tulsa, Oklahoma (in order to get my test completed in the month of May rather than waiting until June when I have to start my job). I took the test Saturday and did not feel so great about it. You get anywhere from 75-265 questions. I was done after 50 minutes or so and only got 75 questions. I had no idea how I did but was quickly on the road again back up to Kansas.

We stayed in Kansas Saturday night. Our plan was to go to church and then leave after an early dinner with Keith and Kristan. I was eager to get back to Texas as we had made fun Memorial plans with our friends and for Apes' birthday that involved renting a boat and enjoying the day on the lake.

So, early Sunday night we leave. We are not but an hour and ahalf out of Kansas City- close to Fort Scott, Kansas. I am driving along and notice a deer up ahead go across the highway. I am pretty sure I slowed down at this point, everyone knows deer travel in groups...but I also try to point out the deer to Avery. Next thing I know, I hear a CRASH and my drivers side window is broken into 50 pieces and there's deer hair all throughout the car. OMG!!! I pull over. I don't know what to do! I am freaking out at this point. I call my brother- he tells me to call 911-I do that right away. I am scared to get out and look at my car for fear that this deer is still on top of my car! Avery is calm as can be and asks me a couple times, "Mom- are you mad? Are you mad the deer broke your car?"

Long story short...I'm not too horribly mad about it all, at first. I figure- its not the worst thing that can happen. Atleast we're o.k....I can spend some more time in Kansas. At this point, I'm also more concerned about finding the results of my board test than I am my car! Over the next couple days- we were able to enjoy more time with our Kansas family and friends and I realized two things 1) I passed my boards and I was a full-fledged RN-YAY!!!! and 2) My car would not be fixed in the timely manner I would've hoped for.

I end up driving my car back to Texas. No window at all- and taking it to a Dallas body-shop, where it is still getting fixed up! We spend the night in Dallas and are on the road again, the next day, to Branson, Missouri with April, Anthony, and Tanner.

I was exhausted by this point but knew we had to make the trip- and I am so glad we did! I think I was one of the last midwest born and raised folks to have never visited this fun place. We enjoyed our time there- lots of pool time, relaxing time, saw a show, and enjoyed making memories with the kiddos. I learned from this trip- that I need to travel more often! It is so nice to get away from your house and not have to worry about cleaning, cooking, etc!

So, here are some trips from our fantastic adventures. Sorry- no car pics. The image my mind of deer hair everywhere and deer flesh on my door handle is enough for me to take!

These girls are the cutest...but not very good drivers! Ave is now telling me she is old enough to drive the car- EVERY TIME WE GO ANYWHERE!

Here we are at this adorable petting zoo in Kansas. Can't wait to go there again!

Ave and Tanner

Ave riding her pony. She asked the cowboy/wrangler dude if he had any pink, sparkly ponies like her ponies at home. This guy was really nice and took Ave on a really long walk with the pony. He didn't charge me a penny for it and also gave Ave this really cute cowgirl hat that matches her pink cowboy boots, at home. He told me I could come back anytime! I didn't feel too bad about that one!

Graduation Day!

2009-06-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

I have some major catch-up blogging to do. So, let's start with graduation day. There were a couple things that made this day SO GREAT!

The first one was the family support I received-I didn't know if both my parents were going to be there...Long story short- both of my parents were there for the big day. This was pretty amazing to me. I didn't stress how important it was to me to have them both there but my mom and dad made travel arrangements to be present.

I knew the day was going to be emotional. This has been my dream for the last seven years and the road had been long, hard, difficult, but wonderful. I didn't actually start tearing up until I walked in with my class, looked up, and saw my sister, April, crying. My sister is not an emotional person so I can only gather that Apes understood how important this goal was for me to reach...and she was proud!

The coolest thing about this day was finding Ave in the stands...She watched me, waved to me, smiled at me and I found her before I walked across the stage...I hope she remembers this day and knows how valuable an education really is.

Florence Nightingale Award

2009-05-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

This is the best week ever. We had our final Monday. I didn't have to take it because I did well on the HESI exit exam (similar to a board test) and was happy with my lecture grade. For this reason, I was able to go up to Kansas last week, instead of studying, which made me really happy.

Our pinning ceremony took place Monday. The instructors announced the awards that the students had chosen. The final award was introduced, by my instructor from last semester, as the "Florence Nightingale Award." She stated the ward was voted on my the nursing faculty and to be given to someone who would strongly carry on Florence's vision of nursing and would represent the school. She talked about it for several more moments and then informed the class that this year's recipient would be ME! I was completely shocked and blown away by this honor. Another instructor went up to the podium to hand me my own copy of Florence Nightingale's "Notes on Nursing," a beautiful book I will treasure FOREVER. The instructor told the class that this was the most important award given to the student that the instructors would personally choose to take care of themselves or one of their loved ones. That right there means everything to me.

My favorite quote from Florence pretty much sums of my beliefs on nursing-

"Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation, as any painter's or sculptor's work; for what is the having to do with dead canvas or dead marble, compared with having to do with the living body, the temple of God's spirit? It is one of the Fine Arts: I had almost said, the finest of Fine Arts."

I don't know if I deserve this award more than any of my other peers....But, I do know how much I love nursing. This career has taught me so much- not only how to take care and talk to others but it has helped me figure out who I really am. I've wanted to be a RN since I was 18 years old and it has been the one constant dream of mine since. I can't believe I am there.

Lessons Learned

2009-05-12T21:40:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to share this cute picture that Ave made...She was coloring one day and told me she drew a picture of her family. She asked me how to spell "mom" and "tanner."

Here we are...Two and ahalf years later...We have come so far. When Ave and I first moved to Texas, I strongly disliked having to explain our situation to others and loathed the question, "And what does your husband do?" I would see Ave watching other families interact and I assumed she was wondering where her dad was.

After all this time has gone by, I can now openly explain before anyone has to ask- "Yeah, its just me and Avery and we are pretty darn close."

Any mom will tell you that its hard. I just know that I was meant to be a mom- Avery's mom...I wouldn't trade it for anything. Our struggle has brought us together and I am the happiest and strongest I have ever been.

So, what now? It has taken me long enough but I have come to several conclusions over the last couple of weeks. I need to stop worrying so much about myself and my situation and start doing more for others. Working in the emergency room for my school clinicals has been a startling experience. If you have family support, your health, and a grasp of perspective- you can count yourself extremely lucky.

Man, wisdom does come with age...I am wise beyond my years...Its a good thing I am getting older- my life experiences will soon catch up to my age!

More Kansas Fun!

2009-05-12T21:18:00.000-07:00

This is the best month for us but also the craziest. I was in desperate need of a quick trip to see some of my Kansas people and we were able to go up last week.

Its interesting to me to go back to a place where I have so many roots- both good and bad. I ran into one of my really good friends from high school, that just recently moved back to KS, while we were visiting Crown Center with the kids. That just doesn't happen in a place where no one knew you even existed 2 years ago.

It may have something to do with my parents moving away and now that school is coming to a close- I have this pressing need to "settle" somewhere with Ave... It is not fun moving every year and I want Ave to be able to center her life around people that care about her and are constantly present in her life.

For now, I still LOVE Texas and am excited to advance in my nursing career here. I will just always look forward to my KS trips...As you can tell from the pictures, Ave and her cousin Brittany are the best of friends. Those two girls are so cute together. Since leaving, I have been asked everyday if we are going to go back to see Brittany. SO MUCH FUN!

Explaining life to a 3 year old

2009-04-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to watch the movie, "Marley and Me" since it has been in the theater...I decided against it after I heard about the ending...So, let me clearly say, don't read this if you are wanting to watch and be surprised by this sweet family movie.

Avery and I both enjoyed the movie. As I turned it off, I was gearing up for some talks about her strong desire for a dog...Which usually go something like, "Mommy, we need to get a house, a dog, and a trampoline...O.K. Mommy?"

It turns out, this wasn't what was on her mind...This was our conversation.

Avery: "Mommy, did Marley die just like Jesus died?"

Me: "Well, Jesus died for you and me, so we can live with him and Heavenly Father again....Marley died because he was an old doggie."

Avery: "Mommy, aren't you old?

Me: "No, Mommy is NOT OLD...Just bigger and older than Avery. But doggies don't live as long as people do."

Avery: "Oh, that's good...Well, I think Marley died because he went to the doctor...That's why I don't go to the doctor when I'm sick."

I have to admit, I am glad I have a little girl that thinks...

I loved this movie and it reminded me of our family's dog, Einstein...He was a beautiful golden retriever that seriously saved our family from minor and major tragedies...ie: finding my little brother, who was lost, in the acres of land behind our house in Wisconsin...yeah, we did lose every child in our family atleast once...its a wonder CPS never got involved!

Can't wait to get a dog for Avery...Together, they can both learn to listen to me!

My favorite sport...

2009-04-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

Baseball...One of my favorite outings in the summertime. We were able to go to a Rangers vs. Royals and had a great time. The weather turned slightly threatening with a chance of rain...but Ave did not want to go. It never actually rained and we were able to stay late and catch four songs of an outdoor concert featuring Jack Ingram. Ave is such a country girl and rocked out to the music was really not happy when I told her it was time to go...

v

Our Easter Fun!

2009-04-15T20:49:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Easter...This was the first year Ave was that perfect and magical age
where she fully appreciated all the Easter traditions. I now live for these holidays
where we are able to make sweet memories.

These two pics above are from Ave's school party. The kids made these easter baskets
and they were beyond eager to find these eggs.

The next day, we went to an Easter brunch with April, Anthony, Tanner
and our good friends from our old ward.

Ave and Tanner...So much for our high hopes of getting a picture of
them both smiling AND looking at the camera collectively.

How many kids can fit in the sandbox?

Ave and Caden

The relentless search continues for those eggs!

Just a pretty girl

Avery adamantly requested the "girl easter bunny" this year after refusing to visit the easter bunny that was obviously a scary boy easter bunny. So, we were lucky to locate this girly bunny wearing a girly bow...

Yea, I'm kinda sick in this video, but its still good. Ave did not want to LOOK for her easter basket. I kept telling her "look in every corner" and she would just give one quick glance and tell me, "Mommy, It's not here! I can't find it!" She got kinda frustrated and we had to look for it together....We finally found it in the corner of the family room...thank goodness...

The Easter Bunny came!

One important lesson I learned this year...Not to do easter baskets until after you go to church. Ave was very disappointed that she was not able to take her goodies to church...and this is the unfortunate reason behind no pretty easter dress pictures as a crying, sad girl does not always photograph well.

Texas Bluebonnets

2009-04-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

Aahhhhh.....So glad I finally get to share my favorite part about Texas springs...These beautiful flowers are everywhere, especially out in the country, my neck of the woods now. The bluebonnets grow wild along the roads and it is against the law for anyone to mow or pick them.

I have taken pics of Ave and the bluebonnets every spring we have been here....So crazy to think that this is our 3rd year- where has the time gone?

Lots to say

2009-04-05T20:18:00.000-07:00

We had a fun weekend listening/watching general conference. I have been suffering from the mother of all allergies and has literally taken over my whole body. I feel like I am in a haze. This is my first month without health insurance, so I'm trying to use all my drug combos I can think of to get over this ridiculousness.

Anywho, today we went over to April and Anthony's and decorated easter eggs. I love going over to their house. Avery loves it too. The first thing she said to me this morning was, "Mommy, are you better? Are we going to see April and Uncle Anthony?" I couldn't resist and we had a great time.

By the end of the afternoon, Avery was telling April, "Let's leave Mommy" (as they were getting ready to take Avery to visit all the little niece's on Anthony's side) and she told me "I love Anthony" as they were getting ready to leave.

As I'm trying to plan our Easter next week, its finally hitting me that my parents are not here. I really miss being able to go to their house on Sundays- our crazy family times, watching Ave play with my dad, and my mom's funny outlook on life. I was in denial of the whole situation- or just had too much other stuff going on...and now its sinking in.

So, hope everyone enjoys our pics from today. Please be mindful of what you say regarding my
looks- I am concerned that I may be aging prematurely. I may be overly sensitive to the matter due to the recent comments I have heard from strangers....Such as:

1) Stranger one: "Wow- you sure are pretty. (Talking to Avery while I am holding her)...You're even prettier than your mommy!"

2) I have to set up this scenario. I have a home health patient- Ms. Womack- that I have been taking care of for a year. We went to Walmart the other day- when this question was posed...Important info: Ms. Womack is 90 years old!!!)
Cashier at Walmart asks me, while she is checking out our groceries, "Is she your mom?"- pointing to Ms. Womack!

I just had to laugh at the last one---but inside I was thinking- wow, do I suddenly look middle aged? I am 10 years younger than Ms. Womack's actual grandaughter!!! Maybe the stress of my life is showing itself in my face! I thought I was for aging gracefully but I may have to reconsider my options if this continues!

Parenting 101

2009-03-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

So, the most important jobs are the most difficult. I fully acknowledge the fact that raising Ave to be a loving, smart, and happy girl will be the paramount of my success. I don't know if I am always up for the challenge. She is more stubborn and sassy than ever. I try to discipline her but sometimes its a joke. I can't and won't spank. We do time out but now she asks to be put in time out while telling me- "Mommy- put the timer on." I lose patience with my bossy girl and at the end of the day- feel overwhelmed with the heavy burden of worrying that I am not doing enough. I pray to Heavenly Father that he will pick up where I can not and help me to be the best mom to her.

Last night, we went to one of the bigger Dallas libraries. We're frequent visitors of our town's small library but I had reserved some books for us through the Dallas library system. Any who, Ave was mad because the Dallas library didn't have the kid's computer that our library does. I went to go check out books for us and I come back to the kid's area where I see that Ave has unloaded 25 or so teen paperbacks onto the table. She told me these were her books that she wanted. I told her they were for bigger girls and we had to help put them away. She starts screaming- not something that's tolerated well in any library.

The nice librarian comes over and tells Avery we must put the books back. Avery starts crying and runs over to me. I explained to her that she was sad because she made a bad choice and got in trouble for it. But, it was o.k. We now needed to clean up and not do it again next time. She is still mad/sad and won't help and I am very flustered at this point.

Ms. Librarian than asks me what I do for a living. I told her I was a nursing student. She then tells me that she thought I was a teacher because I was doing such a good job with my daughter. We talked while we put the books back and she told me that she could tell Ave was smart and strong-willed- which will be very good for her, as she gets older.

I don't know why- but this woman gave me the little extra encouragement I needed. These qualities I see in my daughter now are the exact aspects young women need in their characters. At this point, I want her to mind me and care more about others. I hope the struggle of keeping my patience with her and myself gets easier.

Dallas Museum of Art

2009-03-24T10:16:00.001-07:00

Another fun outing. I haven't had a chance to go to this museum before and was excited when April invited us. We had a fun picnic before we went inside and Avery loved following her big friend, Cassidy, around. The museum was fun but there was so many people. We made a fun craft- an animal mask. I am so not artsy- but I always try for Avery. Its too bad hers (its a bunny- I know you can't see the ears) didn't turn out as well as Tanner's....A fun day- had by all!

Feels like Spring!

2009-03-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

We are on Spring Break this week! I took Ave out of school and we are doing our best to find fun things in the area, to stay busy! One of our favorites is the Dallas Arboretum- we went yesterday with our good friends. The bright colors found in the flowers are beautiful and the park also has many playhouses from storybooks, such as: Dr. Seuss, Hansel and Gretel, Peter Pan. The kids loved walking around and enjoying the sunny weather in such a lovely environment.

Results

2009-03-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

My interview was Monday afternoon. I went into it kinda frazzled. I had a test that day, a presentation and was running short on time. I made it there, pulled myself together, and said several prayers that I would be confident and I would get this job- if it was right for me.

I was told that the interview would consist of 5 nurses from ER, serving as the board. I walked into the room and there was eight. They each asked me different questions such as-

-what are 3 words your friends would use to describe you?
-what made you go into nursing?
-why do you want to work for this hospital system?
-what has been your most rewarding situation, taking care of a patient?
-what would you do if an older nurse was watching you perform a skill, on a patient,- and commented that you were completing the skill incorrectly?
-can you give us an example of how you have dealt with a difficult coworker?
-can you give us some examples of how you have dealt with difficult patients?
-where do you see yourself in 5 years?
-can you tell us the most difficult thing you've ever had to go through in your life?

I felt good about most of my answers- I was answering quickly and enjoyed talking about my experiences with nursing. The last question was difficult for me. I did not want to go on and on about my whole life story. My initial thought was - well, I am a single mom-motherhood itself isin't always a party-but I didn't say that. I answered very vaguely about taking ownership of your life's choices, trying to work through them and make more difficult decisions. I didn't know if it even made sense- but then I went on and talked about my career- ie:going to school.

After the panel interview, I went on a tour with one of the nurses. The emergency room department is hardcore. There are 88 beds and it has recently been remodeled and its beautiful. At the end of the tour, I did not want to leave!

So, the most important part of this story is.....I got an offer! The HR rep tried to call me yesterday but we never connected- so I finally got the news today. I am thrilled but it hasn't really hit me yet. This is what I've wanted since I was 18 and knew that nursing was my thing. Its taken a long time- but I am so close to being there- its mind-boggling to think that my dream is close to a reality.

I want a job!

2009-03-03T09:33:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday, I went to a nursing career fair for the best hospital system in DFW. It was only for graduate nurses that are interested in the nursing internships. I thought it was going to be a little busy but when I got there...The line to even get into the conference center was extensive and took half an hour. Needless to say, I waited, made my way in, and was there for three hours and talked to personnel from 3 specialty areas: telemetry, er, and medical-surgical..

.Everywhere you looked, there were hundreds of nursing students that were also looking for the same opportunities as me. I felt like all 3 "mini interviews" went well. I gave them a copy of my resume, talked to them about my experiences, and they asked some standard interview questions.

I really, really, REALLY want the ER position. This line was the longest but I knew I had to talk to someone. I was actually interviewed by 2 ER nurses. They loooked at my resume and quickly told me 3 things 1) I chose the nursing school in the area that would best prepare me for real world nursing. 2) My GPA shows that I am doing well and am very competent. 3) My experiences in nursing have put me at an advantage, for this specific position. This was nice to hear. Next, they mentioned that there were only 8 internships available at the Dallas main hospital. They asked me why they should choose me. I told them I was more capable. I adapted, learned quickly, and can work well in stressful and difficult situations. I do have experience in nurisng that has laid a great foundation but I am now wanting to do more and be in the most challenging situation- that will help me grow and develop to the best nurse that I can possible be...Well, I said something kinda like this...

We talked for a good ten minutes and I walked away feeling good about it. But, you still don't know- its very intimidating to know that so many others may be more suitable for the position you want. I knew I just had to wait. The interviews went well with the other areas and I would be happy just being in this hospital system.

Yesterday, I heard back from HR and the ER manager wants a second interview with me! I think I am ecstatic just to be selected from so many other people. They have narrowed it down to to 15-20 possibilities. I am confident in myself and know that it will work out if it is the right place for me. If not, there are other wonderful opportunities in nursing. I want a job and I want a job that I will be happy in- and I am pretty sure I can find that- which is a huge blessing in itself.

But, if you wouldn't mind saying some prayers and crossing your fingers, I would surely appreciate it...My interview is Monday at 4:00p...I'll keep ya posted!

My daughter is a genius

2009-03-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

Here is a funny video on Ave and her letter sounds. We disagree on a couple letters, as you will see...Ave has learned a "letter song" from the Leapfrog movie "The Letter Factory" that has helped a lot with this...But, I think she's just smart to begin with also.

Who gave you permission to grow up?

2009-02-25T20:35:00.000-08:00

The other night, Ave and I had a conversation, as she was getting ready for bed, that went something like this:

Me: OK, Ave- here is Pooh (She has been sleeping with her Pooh for the last couple years of her life)...do you want your baby too?

Avery: No, mommy...Just Allison (see post below).

Me: Oh, so you want Pooh and Allison tonight?

Avery: Just Allison, mommy. Pooh is for babies.

I am literally stunned at this moment. It seems this little girl is growing by the second and I can not keep up! Its too early for her to outgrow her innocent and young attachments. What's next- "Mommy, I don't want to be a princess...I want to be in High School Musical/Hannah Montana/Jonahs Brothers groupie?" I don't think so!

Goodbye Pooh- Thanks for being such a good friend!

Hello Allison! May you always be faithful and love my Avery fully!

Another trip to KS!

2009-02-21T17:19:00.000-08:00

Avery and I decided we had to be present at our niece/cousin- Brittany's 3rd birthday. I have been to all her previous birthdays (including the party in the delivery room) so this is now our new standard.

We were able to have some girl time Friday-before the party and we got our nails done. The girls had their nails painted and Ave picked out her own color and held very still during the whole thing. Then it was time for the party at Chuck-E-Cheese. It was fun and exciting. The kids had fun- Avery is still deathly afraid of Chuck-E...I don't think that will ever change.

The next day was Valentine's Day and we went out to lunch and to the Build-A-Bear workshop. The line was over an hour long-but my wonderful brother waited amongst the eager children, while we shopped. By the time it was our turn, Ave had already decided on a cute little monkey. After giving life to this monkey, we sat down at the computer to print our birth certificate. I asked Ave what she wanted to name her monkey and she quickly responded, "Allison." Now, I swear- we know NO ALLISONS. None at school, none at church, no friends- it was pretty cute that she was able to come up with such a fantastic name.

I took Avery over to her Dad's house Sunday morning. I dropped her off and spent an hour with Ave, Ave's Dad, and Ave's Dad's now fiancee...I knew Ave was in good hands and comfortable so I made the trip back in time to finish my 2 papers for school.

I always have a hard time when Avery is away. My life is centered around this one little girl and it is very apparent when she is with her dad. The first day is nice- I think about all this stuff I can do. But by the next day, I miss her and worry about her constantly.

I picked her up at the airport Wednesday. She was running to me as soon as she saw me- and she did look bigger. Ever since she has been back, she has been a better listener. I don't know if time away makes her grow up a little or perhaps she just missed me...I'm ofcouse hoping for the latter!

Sweet Surprise

2009-02-12T10:05:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought I was finally to the point where I didn't need all the traditional girly cutsie little things- ie signs of love and affection...I come home to flowers and chocolates waiting for me- and it was nice! Avery ofcourse assumes these flowers are for her and she says, "Mommy, do you like my pretty flowers?"

Who loves him more?

2009-02-09T20:35:00.001-08:00

I LOOOOOVE being an auntie and I think it probably has something to do with all these cute kids I am lucky to have in my life...

For instance, Tanner, is 20 pounds of pure baby love. He smiles whenever he sees me and is just happy when someone is paying him any kind of attention. We saw him yesterday and he held out his arms for me to hold him for the first time and I could literally feel my heart smile.

I'm not the only one in love with this little guy. Avery is such a great "big cousin" and always wants to play, feed, and read to her baby Tanner.

Who needs to have more kids? I am happy with my share of motherhood/aunthood at the moment and can not get enough of these little ones.

Nothing new 'round here

2009-02-05T19:59:00.002-08:00

Not much to report- except the following-

1) There is a new member of the family named "Carousel" by his loving caretaker. He is a cute, little, blue Alpha fish who eats and swims all day long and makes his first public appearance in the video below. Ave was told that if we take care of Carousel , (and he lives past his guaranteed or money back date) we can get a dog...post graduation and house buying, that is, ofcourse.

2) My parents have moved! Well, my dad moved 2 weeks ago and my mom moves in a week. They are selling their house to a family in their ward/church... (yes, an amaaaaazing blessing for them). It still hasn't sunk in that it is actually happening. I just want my life to be on hold until I am done with school. It makes me sad that I won't be able to keep a close eye on them while they are getting older and grayer every year...And I'm not the only one. We were getting to go see my mom today and Ave said, "Mommy, I'm going to take this puzzle to go show Grandpa!" She was sooo excited and I didn't have the heart to explain that one.

3) I have finally mustered up my motivation and togetherness for this last semester. The break from school had put me back- and I was frazzled for the first couple weeks of school. I think I am ready to work hard again and I applied for my first nursing internship. As a graduate nurse, you work, and make money, for nursing internships where you are working under a preceptor, another RN, to help you ease into your own practice and patient load. These range from 8-16 weeks, depending on the field. Well, my first preference is......ER! Pretty much everything in nursing interests me. There has not been any one area that I thought I couldn't see myself working. But, this was my favorite clinical rotation and some may know that this is where I was actually offered a position several years ago, before I was pregnant and moved to the area. I didn't take the job, stayed in Kansas, and decided to some other things instead... Long story short, I feel that this is my full circle of where I am supposed to be and where I will find the best opportunities to learn and grow in my career. So I applied and will see what happens...If its meant for me- it'll work out. Otherwise, there are many, many options that I am sure I will be happy with.

4) Avery is catching up to my intelligence, quickly. She can count to ten in spanish, twenty in english, recite the pledge of allegiance-she did learn this one from school. She was coloring today and for the first time ever, was drawing REAL PEOPLE! I was very impressed- as you can tell from the video and pictures. We're talking people with eyes, hair, ears, noses, mouths...That is smart and that is my girl.

A night for the (little) girls...

2009-01-23T20:58:00.001-08:00

Avery's friend, Chloe, who used to live here but has since moved to Idaho came back to town for a visit. We were able to see her last night for our own little night on the town...We went out to dinner and then went to go see the musical, "Click Clack Moo...Cows that Type" at the Dallas Childrens Theater." The show was based on a children's story and was the preview night so admission was free. The girls really loved the show. Avery told me, during the intermission, "Mommy- this is a good day!" She had so much fun with Chloe and they were so well behaved. We even got to meet the actors/characters after the show which included cows #1 and #2, the hen, the duck, and Farmer Brown. Can't wait to do it again!

Feelin crafty!

2009-01-23T20:45:00.000-08:00

I know its not much but I can't help to be proud of this!!! I've been wanting to make Avery a hair bow holder for her bathroom since seeing one at a fair a couple months ago and thinking, "that would be so easy to make." Sure enough, it took some ribbon, a hot glue gun, and a cute little wooden floor decal from Michaels since I already had the letter 'A' from Ave's baby decor. Avery really loves it and can put her bows away herself.

The big thing is- I think this little project has inspired me for more. I really want to start scrapbooking (if 3 years later is not too late) and more crafts. I'm can't wait to have a house to decorate and more time to complete my own creations (usually me trying to copy all the cute things I see elsewhere)-I love it!

Obedience

2009-01-19T20:29:00.000-08:00

I have been asked to give a talk this Sunday on this wonderful topic. I wish I could say this has always been my specialty, but it has not. From what I've gathered, it seems that I have only recently learned that blessings come after we make good choices. I must have been rotten in my youth because I don't remember sacrificing in order to be obedient. For example, I didn't graduate from seminary. I was LAZY and the hour of sleep was too much to give up...How sad- I think my life would've been a little different had I been more willing to do the right thing. Fortunately, I have learned a thing or two since my younger days and now understand the bigger picture a little better.

Anywho, I'm sure I'll be able to find the riveting and inspiring talk that is deep within me. In the meantime, here is a story I love on obedience that I personally can strongly relate to.

http://www.sugardoodle.net/Faith/Gods_Embroidery.shtml

Cowgirl boots and sisterly love

2009-01-19T19:24:00.001-08:00

My Texas cowgirl finally has some cowgirl boots. April and I hit up the kid's consignment stores this weekend for some super sales. These were a steal at $3.50- I'm only worried that Ave is going to want to wear them everywhere and they are a size too big...Oh well. They're undeniably adorable.

I love shopping with my sister. She helps me consider my purchases as I still manage to over-indulge my only child who just happens to be a little girl, which means cute clothes are virtually mandatory. April is incredibly reasonable and frugal, with good reason. I usually consider myself to be too until I see her instinctive habits in action. For instance, we're at Once Upon a Child, and we're weeding out what we should/should not buy when April (who makes more than I will ever make and saves more than I will ever save) says, "What do you think of this shirt? Its cute but I don't know and its $6.50." The shirt was actually included in the 60% off sale, which she knew and was super cute.

That is my sister and I love her dearly. I should also mention (in case she's really mad at me at this point) that April's conscious ways of saving, even as a teenager, were what gave me my first real independence, aka my first car. April loaned me $3000, while she was a freshman in college, for me to buy my little green Toyota Tercel (I made good car choices even back then-that was a good car). I paid her back within a year but can not help but still be amazed at her love and generous offerings that have remained consistent throughout our lives.

So, April...Even though mom still tells you how perfect you are, right in front of me...It doesn't bother me like it used to...I am grateful to be your friend and younger sister that will forever be learning from you and watching you in wonder. I love you. -Chels

Yes, new post

2009-01-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

So...I've been slackin on my posts and trying to enjoy the most of my life- for some of the following reasons.....Here is the latest with us.

Me
-I made it out of the fall semester...and on the President's List no less, which means a 4.0 GPA. I am happy with this and will try to do this again next semester. I am more pleased that no major catastrophies/illnesses occured during this time- I only missed one day of clinical- and Avery loved school almost as much as me.

-I got a new calling/job in our ward/church. I was called to nursery a couple weeks ago. I am super excited about this. I love the kids in this age group (18months-3 years) and feel like I am needed here. I may miss going to the adult classes but it makes me try to get more out of sacrament meeting and on my own personal time...for my own spiritual nourishment.

-I made the most of my time off from school. Trip to Kansas, Christmas family time, and time for me. I read some books I've been wanting to read for ages, such as The Peacegiver by James L. Ferrell. I would strongly recommend this book to anyone. It is a fictional story, an extended parable, about the atonement and forgiveness. It honestly gave me multiple new perspectives on issues that I have been struggling with for some time. One of the main focuses of the book is how Christ is the practical answer in a strained relationship and how he can heal our hearts and homes....Well, this lesson never comes too late and I learned so many insights that have helped me feel more at peace with my life, choices, relationships, etc and I probably be re-reading this book for years to come.

-School started again last Thursday. I am kinda unsure how the whole semester will go but am excited at the same time. We are more independent this semester and get to go to clinical sites where we are working 1:1 with a RN with such specialties such as:dialysis, home health, hospice, school nursing, occupational nursing, rehab, etc. We're also going to the state psych hospital in the next couple weeks and I'm looking forward to this as well.

-My parents are still moving. My dad will actually go ahead and move next Saturday and my mom will stay here for a month or so. They have had one family from church showing some interest in the house. If that doesn't work out, they are putting the house on the market. Originally, my dad offered to let Avery and I stay in the house while trying to sell it. I was interested in it as it would be a great opportunity for me to save money (after school, ofcourse) for our own house but was not looking to moving during the semester, finding Ave a new school, etc. Long story short, one of my younger brothers was upset that he would not be given the same chance to live in the house and maybe rent it with some friends (can we say frat house?). I did not want this to turn into some family fight and this brother happens to hold serious grudges. I suggested my parents keep the house vacant as it was not fair to let one person have the house and not another...So, I'm pretty sure this is now the plan but it is ultimately up to my parents' discretion...

Now, for my Avery girl-

-After graduating from nursery, Avery is now a sunbeam in our church! She loves going to primary and her teacher tells me she pays attention very earnestly as she tries to learn all the songs during sharing time. The first Sunday I took her, I dropped her off and she was a little hesitant. One of the girls in the class was sitting right by her and said, "Oh, Avery. I've been waiting for you!" Avery smiled and then gave me a hug goodbye. I felt this tug in my heart as I gave her one last glance, before leaving. The thought came to me that Avery was in the best place she could be and that I was too...

-We are still playing with Christmas toys at our house which means Santa did well, right? Avery is a puzzle genius. She has a 48 piece princess puzzle that has put together tens and tens of times. I copied the patterns of the puzzle pieces on the board and wrote numbers for each piece so she can match the #1 puzzle piece to the #1 puzzle piece on the board and so forth. Well, this helps her with her numbers at the same time and she doesn't get so frustrated. She doesn't even need this most of the time now. I love that she has toys that can keep her attention for a good span of time...and that she can play independently.

Well, if that wasn't enough great info for you, here are a couple cute videos of Avery...

The first, Avery is singing and dancing to one of her own original songs...If songwriting and choreography is not in her future, storytelling is. The second video is one in which I find her reading stories in the bathroom. She is a very dramatic storyteller and will no doubt be thrilling audiences with her many talents soon.

Sad news

2009-01-03T19:46:00.000-08:00

So, some may already know this and its not the newest news....But, my parents are moving to Seattle, Washington. My dad has accepted a wonderful job opportunity he is very excited about and will be moving the end of this month, taking only my mom with! I can't believe they're actually moving without any kids!

Last night, it just hit me. I started crying thinking about it. It just doesn't seem fair that Ave won't be able to see her grandparents whenever she wants. She is really close to both of them but I am mainly worried about my mom and how this will affect her overall well-being.

Growing up, we moved a lot. We never lived anywhere more than six years. I did expect them to stay in Texas. I know there is a reason why they are moving and that it may be good for our family...I just feel like I have to have back up support for Ave and I. My sister, April, is the perfect friend, help, aunt, everything but I don't want to have to rely on her for so much.

One more semester in school...And then I will feel more self-reliant. In the meantime, it makes you appreciate your family so much more when they aren't so accessible. Who knows... I may end being closer to my mom and dad when they live on the other side of the country.

Christmas=Family Time

2009-01-03T19:32:00.001-08:00

Well, kinda late on the christmas post but wanted to write a couple thoughts...

Our Christmas was wonderful. I really loved spending time with my family and it made me realize how fortunate we are to have the time to make memories. Everyone was together a couple days after Christmas as my brothers came back to Texas. My parents bought Rockband for the fam and we all rocked out. I think this is my favorite game ever and I do have to say that I am one talented vocalist.

Avery LOVED spending time with her cousins. Everyday she would tell me, "Mommy, I need to go see Brittany," and I believed her. Brittany is a special little girl and the closest thing Ave may have to a sister and I hope they are always super close.

Other December Pics

2008-12-23T19:40:00.000-08:00

A couple Saturdays ago, April and I took Avery and Tanner to "Santa's Wonderland" at the Bass Pro Shop here. It was a lot of fun and Ave enjoyed making Christmas crafts, shooting the targets with the pink gun (she was set on doing that- I would not have encouraged that one), and sitting on Santa's Lap (which was her third Santa already this year and Ave is shy and timid each time...Notice how not shy she is to pet the raccoon on the Christmas tree...I don't always understand this girl of mine).

Ave and her Daddy

2008-12-23T19:22:00.000-08:00

Ave got to spend a couple days with her dad when we were in Kansas. This isin't the best picture but it clearly shows this resemblance between them is still going strong...She really enjoyed her time with him and told me all about the birthday party he had for her and getting to play with her little cousins.

On our way home from Kansas, Ave was mad at me for making her get out of our warm car to stop for a potty break and told me, "I want my Daddy!" She hasn't said it since...She has never told me that before and I honestly thought it was funny that the thought came to her at that perfect time. I'm just hoping I don't hear this everyday or every time she wants to share some attitude!

I do know that her dad loves her very much and wishes he could see her everyday. We are going to try to work out a more consistent system in which Ave goes to Kansas for small intervals to spend time with him. I would never recommend this situation to anyone and I tell whoever I can to avoid it at all possible costs but I am hopeful that we can make the best of it.

Our Kansas Trip

2008-12-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

We had so much fun in Kansas! We were able to get in a lot of time with family and friends.

The pictures of Kristan and I in the horrible sweaters were from the "Ugly Christmas Sweater party." We were in our beautiful goodwill ensemble and went ice skating in Leawood. I love ice skating and can't wait to take Ave next year!

Thanks Keith and Kristan welcoming us into your home for yet another fun trip. I'm not sure who enjoyed it more- me or Ave! Can't wait to do it again soon.

We are in Kansas!!!

2008-12-18T21:19:00.000-08:00

We just arrived to Kansas last night...and we are having a blast!

We decided to drive because of gas being so affordable. As we were getting to North Oklahoma, we started seeing some snow patches on the ground. Avery said, "Look Mom! There's sugar everywhere!" It was pretty cute. Spoken like a true Texas girl.

We were able to go see my friend, Audrey and her son, Carson, and family for his first birthday party. I didn't take any pictures because I was still recovering from the long drive and not thinking too clearly.

Today, Ave spent the day with her dad. I got to meet his new girlfriend. She redecorated his house, which used to be- our house. I think I handled it all in all, pretty well. I am happy that her dad is happy-Avery deserves two happy parents.

I have loved spending time with Kristan, Keith and their kids. Jared and Brittany are two kids with BIG personalities and it is fun! Avery LOVES playing with her cousins and I think the feeling is mutual. Jared said last night, "I've never had this much fun with Avery!" She is now at that perfect age where playing with other kids is the best thing ever.

So, I realize I do miss Kansas when I am back here. I got to see my other good friend, Kendra, and she tried to talk me back into moving here as well as little hints from Kristan. I know Texas is where we are meant to be for awhile...I'm just happy to be able to come visit without it being too far away!

Need to take more pictures so that I can post some!

Covering all her bases

2008-12-12T19:50:00.000-08:00

The following conversation establishes the fact that my daughter is officially a super smart and savvy 3 year old.

Setting: I am making dinner. Avery is playing with her pictures and letters on the fridge, when I hear:

"Oh, Look Mommy. Its a picture of me and my best friend" while pointing to the picture of her sitting on Santa Claus' lap.

"Oh Yea Ave- Santa Claus is your best friend?"

"No, he's not. Ruth and Caden are my best friend."

"Oh, Ruth and Caden are your best friends?"

"No, they're not. Katelynn's my best friend."

"Oh, Katelynn's your best friend?"

"No....MOMMY is my best friend."

"You are right Avery. But its ok to have more than one best friend."

She's covered all around. You can't go wrong with having many best friends, especially santa or mommy.

The shirt says "Best gift ever"and I could never deny that...

Its still FALL Y'all!

2008-12-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

Avery and her Uncle Anthony made some massive leaf piles this weekend. The weather was beautiful and in the low 60s so we were able to play in the leaves for awhile. The Texas leaves are just now starting to fall and change colors.

We also started working on our Christmas baking, although most of our goodies are already gone. Avery loves making sugar cookies, especially rolling out the dough and decorating with frosting. We try to save her cookies just for her-since she enjoys licking her fingers through the process!

AVERY is THREE!

2008-12-02T23:13:00.000-08:00

Avery had a great 3rd birthday! We went to the Disney on Ice Show with her best friend, Caden and his mom, Ruth....Then we had a small party. Avery was quite the birthday girl and seemed to have the birthday princess attitude down...Almost like she didn't know what to do with all the attention. For instance, she really did not want to blow out the candle on her birthday cake- I had to coerce her into it. I'm sure her favorite part was opening her presents. Caden really wanted to assist with the opening, which she didn't mind. She is still loving playing with all her presents and likes to remind me of her growing age, saying, "I'm three Mommy...Not a baby." I'm using the "Well, three year olds listen" card and hope that it works for awhile.

I was telling my friend that it is interesting to me that Avery is probably at an age now where she will start to remember things. My first memory is a couple months after I turned 3, stepping onto some steps to see my newborn baby brother, Collin, in the nursery....It makes me even more excited to make fun memories with her but a little more conscious of my parenting skills.

The Terrible Twos went by way too quickly- onto the Terrific Threes.

Feelin the season

2008-11-30T12:19:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Three perfect years

2008-11-28T20:24:00.000-08:00

On the eve of my little girl's third birthday....I have this strong inclination to think back to my life on November 29th, 2oo5. Here is an excerpt from my pregnancy journal on this day....

I was just amazed when I saw your head come out first and then the rest of your body. [Yea, we had a ceiling with mirrors and I had to watch]... I was thinking to myself, where did she come from? You were so big it was incredible that you were inside me all this time. You were so perfect and all I could think about was how blessed I was to be your mom.

Your daddy was crying at the first second of seeing you and could not take his eyes off of you. He went over by you when they weighed you and cleaned you off. The nurses said, "She's got some meat on her bones." I couldn't believe it when they told me you weighed 8 lbs, 10 oz. I was so proud! I kept watching you as they cleaned you off with tears falling down my face. It was the best moment of my life- you are here- a healthy, beautiful little girl and you are mine! ____________________________________________________________________
Three Big Things I Learned from my Three-Year-Old

1. Real love-I am grateful for Avery for opening my eyes. The love I have for her is unselfish, sacrificing, unconditional, and fills my heart with joy. Love is also patient and forgiving. For instance, when a 2 yr old tells you, "Mommy, you're not my friend anymore," its o.k. Give her five minutes to get out her frustration with the world and she'll be coming to find you to deliver the sweetest hug before too long.

2. Faith- in two different powers. First, faith in yourself. Whenever you're not sure if you can do something- you gotta take a big breath, tell yourself you can do it, and then think about what you need to do. Example: You've climbed half-way up the tall caterpillar like the big kid did and now you're scared. You don't know if you should jump down, keep climbing, or cry for help. You can ask for help but don't ever think that you're not capable of doing what you really want to do.

Secondly, faith in Heavenly Father is a major coping skill that makes life so much easier. For instance, I knew a little girl that was having a hard time mastering the art of potty-training. She was doing o.k. at home but at school, there were multiple challenging obstacles that stood in her way. She started saying a prayer before her and her mom left for the day- that she would have a good, dry day.....and it worked-quickly. A perfect example of how our Heavenly Father is aware of our worries and desires- no matter how big or small.

3. Find time to be silly- EVERYDAY. Life is messy and life is hard. You gotta make time to laugh, dance, sing and to do things that make you happy...If you like to find cool sticks and leaves, make awesome art projects, dance in your ballerina costume, be a tickle monster, read the same story twenty times in a row- then by all means, do it! And never stop waking up laughing...(I am so happy you got this from your daddy).

I love you Avery! Thank you for three magical and inspiring years!

Mommy

Oh Christmas Tree!

2008-11-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd be one of those people that could actually put up a Christmas tree before Thanksgiving. Growing up, my family, or my mom, was adamantly serious about keeping the two holidays separate. When I was maybe ten, my Nana asked me to play piano songs for a bit while everyone was working on the Thanksgiving meal...I started playing Christmas songs and my mom came over and said something like, "Can we just get through this holiday first?" Not that I blame her....But I became an adult just so I could make my own decisions and I could easily sense Avery's love for this tradition as she has been ooohing and aaaahing the christmas trees at the stores since SEPTEMBER!

So, we got ourselves a cute and little pre-lit Christmas tree. This is the first year I actually had to put one together myself- so I was kinda worried, especially about trying to put this together in front of an excited Avery attempting to assist. Lucky for me, the cheaper the tree-the easier to assemble. I literally had to snap the base together and insert two big pieces and PRESTO- a tree!

Avery loved the decorating of the tree. She kept saying, "Isin't this pretty mommy?" and "This is my Christmas Tree." I let her hang most of the ornaments and the star on top...She was very dedicated to finding the perfect spot each individual ornament- even if that meant our tree is slightly assymetrical...I didn't hang any of my keepsake ornaments like the porcelain ornaments my Grandma Knick made. I have a feeling this girl is going to want to rearrange her tree a time or two and that would just be too risky, even at the top!

The semester is ALMOST over!

2008-11-26T20:27:00.000-08:00

Yes- clinicals are over! We have one morning next month where we have to do change agent presentations for the our hospital's administration, but that is it! I am eagerly anticipating the long break before coming back for the Spring semester. It kinda seems like the spring is all one big secret. I know our clincals include a state psych rotation but other than that- we are working in the community until we are selected for a preceptorship. I think I'll be able to deal with anything at that point, because graduation will be so closely within reach!

So, here are some pics from my clinical group. We all went out to breakfast last week to close the semester properly!

The group of five girls and me- are the DEFIBRILLATORS. This was my code group for mock codes and we rocked. All the girls worked really hard to pass the first time and I made some great friends from this group...

Including my friend Melena-the chick with the baby. She is easily my favorite person from school. Melena was also in the transition program over the summer, she is a paramedic and is a natural when it comes to nursing. The thing I love most about her- her insane dedicated drive. Lena had her daughter (her first baby) by C-Section...and was back to school a week later!!! She is a wonderful mother and one of those people that gets good grades without studying...I want to hate her for how easy she makes it all look, but I can't.

And the big group is my whole clinical group...minus my instructor! Good times, good memories, will miss seeing these people so much!

I'm hooked

2008-11-20T20:44:00.000-08:00

So, I guess I'm addicted to blogging. It didn't take long...I love it! Just wish I had more time to vent all my random thoughts.

School has been good this week. We have three tests in the next four weeks. We are in our last week in clinicals. Thankfully, I don't have to stress about my grades too much. In nursing school, anything lower than a 75% is considered failing. I'm at a 89% for my lecture grade, and a A in both clinical and community. I need to study a little more. I've gotten a little lazier this semester but I know I will be mad at myself, in the end, if I don't get my little A in lecture.

This is our last week in clinical. I've had a fairly relaxed and easy clinical instructor this semester. At first, I was concerned that she was too laid back and wouldn't push me to make the most of our clinical rotation. I quickly realized that the semester was going to be challenging enough and I should be grateful for this assignment. All in all, I loved our clinicals. I worked hard because it mattered to me. I've been in nusing, in some capacity, for 7 years, but never have felt totally comfortable taking care of critically ill patients. I feel more confident in my knowledge and nursing skills...And everything else you learn by working after school.

Avery is hilarious. Just wanted to write about some of our interesting conversations, over the last week or so...

As we're coming home, our apartment is dark and before I can turn the lights on,
Ave says: "Mommy, Its dark. I can't see my eyes!"
_____________________________________________

Avery begins to cry after hitting her knee on the table. She cries and cries....

I say, "Avery...its o.k. You're tough, shake it off..."(thanks ruth)

Ave: "But, I'm not done crying, Moooommeeee."
__________________________________________________

And the slight glimpse of attitude is great- probably a sign of wonderful things to come. I'm starting to hear, "Because....blah, blah, blah" and "Actually...." She definitely keeps me laughing.

Scrunchy smiles for you!

2008-11-19T18:44:00.001-08:00

This is Ave's new picture smile. What can I say- this girl is ultra photogenic, just like her mother!

My little star

2008-11-17T15:25:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking. If only there was Preschool Idol...I could kiss nursing school goodbye!

Wonderful day

2008-11-07T19:37:00.001-08:00

My first successful code, my first successful code, my first successful code!

Let me explain: Codes are what you would hear in an instant when a patient is crashing, like "Code blue, rm 102," All code nurses and physicians respond and the team works together to start CPR, intubate, shock/defibrillate if necessary, give emergency IV meds to stabilize the patient, and hopefully- transfer to ICU, if they're not already there. I have heard and read that only 10% of codes actually have a positive outcome and the patient is rescued.

So, to be involved in a successful code is truly a miracle and I was grateful for the experience. Several hours afterwards, my friend and fellow student says to me, "You're still smiling!" I was so excited and thrilled to be a part of this amazing profession. On the good and bad days, I see my parents and grandparents in my older patients. I see Avery in the children that come through the ER. I can identify with the family members that are hoping and praying I am doing everything within my knowledge and power to help their loved one. I hope that doesn't change and that I never let anyone down.

Sums it all up

2008-11-03T20:07:00.000-08:00

I just read this story on another blog and had to share. I think the author wanted to convey to the readers what its like to be a parent of a child with a disability. I think it can work for anyone either as a parent or someone trying to realize their life doesn't revolve around their ideal circumstances, but it is still Holland. For me, its what its like being a single mom. It may not be my original plan but Avery makes this the sweetest adventure and I am so glad that she is mine.

"Welcome to Holland"

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome To Holland".

"Holland?!?" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned".

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.

© 1987, by Emily Perl Kingsley.

Halloween:Part 2

2008-11-03T17:44:00.000-08:00

We had such a fun Halloween! Avery dressed up as a Strawberry Fairy and she looked so cute (thanks Christina for the adorable costume)! Avery loved the wings the best and the "fairy dust" in her hair. I am so glad she is a little girl...I honestly look forward to years of princess, fairy, and other girly-girl costumes.

We went to a Halloween carnival at our church and then went trick-or-treating with my mom in her neighborhood. Because Ave had decided to for go the nap that day at school, out night ended early. The next morning, Ave wakes up and the first words out of her mouth were, "I want to go trick or treating, Mommy." Kinda hard to explain the once a year festivities to a 2 year old. Also, now she'll tell me, "Mommy, say trick or treat" and she'll pretend to give me a treat in my hand....I'm hoping we're not still doing this in December...

I was amazed by the people in Texas that get into Halloween. One lady was sitting in her front lawn dressed as a "pretty witch" and was stirring a cauldron pot with a stick. The kids would come up to her and she would hand them out a bag of goodies from her pot. And the weather was so nice- 60s. A lot of people were sitting out by their front doors and waiting for the kids which was nice could you could actually talk to them. A little different from the cold Halloweens I remember as a kid- when layers and layers were a necessity. I can recall one year in Minnesota where snow was coming down but that didn't effect our Halloween agendas.

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T14:49:00.000-07:00

Avery had her first school party today and, boy was it a hoot. I was able to join in on the fun, a little late, but just in time for goodies, games, and dancing. It was fun getting to see more of the friends that Avery talks about and some of their moms.

The little girl sitting by Ave in one of the pictures is her best friend at school, Katelynn. They are best buds and whenever Katelynn sees Avery in the morning, she runs up to her and greets her with a big hug and a "Hi Avery!" It makes Ave's morning and I am so glad she has a good friend to welcome her to class! Every once in awhile, the girls have to be separated from eachother during naptime, as they are little chatterbugs that keep all the other kids up.

I loved being able to see Avery in the school setting and how she interacts with everyone in that environment. I am so glad she likes her school and her friends!

Poor college student

2008-10-22T07:18:00.001-07:00

So, everyone knows the economy's not in the greatest shape...Kinda a scary time to be in school but also a great time to be in school, especially for nursing...I am glad I know I'll be able to find a job after school...My education is probably the best investment I could make right now...

Just received a random e-mail from my school's financial aid office...Over the summer, I had applied for a bunch of different scholarhips along with financial aid..At that time, I was more than happy to find out that I would receive pell grants to more than cover my tuition and $200 a month to help with Avery's daycare costs...Since then, I've just been trying to change my money spending habits and live with less. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to school full time, work full time, and be a single mom full time...And that would just not be fair to Avery...So, I am o.k. with burning up my savings as long as I get through school debt free...So, TODAY- I open up this e-mail and find out that I was given a nursing scholarship for $1500 this semester and would more than likely receive another scholarship for the spring! Such wonderful news.....Just another example of how much Heavenly Father is aware of our situation and has helped ease my worries! I am grateful!

A GREAT WEEK!

2008-10-14T20:43:00.000-07:00

Well, this week has been a blast...I don't even know where to begin. Last week, we went with my friend-Ruth, sister-April, and kids to the Texas state fair. We had so much fun tasting the food, seeing the animals, going on rides, and watching the kids help out on a play farm.

All in all, the day was exhausting...But, later that night....We went to a wonderful show. My sister, April, had given my mom and I tickets for the Broadoway show-The Color Purple. I am a huge fan of live shows and musicals, so I have been eagerly anticipating the month of October for this very reason. I had never seen the movie but had heard a lot of great things about the story. I was not dissapointed in the least bit. It was a wonderful story about a girl that had to deal with trials upon trials in her life but learned to put her trust in God and never forget the love of her sister. At a low point in the main character's life, she is told to remember God when she sees the color purple in a beautiful sky...What a simple way of stating how important it is to see Heavenly Father's hand in the small wonders of our life...It also helped me to see some perspective...My life is not perfect but its not hard. I am blessed to have a wonderful Heavenly Father that knows my worries, frustrations, and desires....and family that is supportive of my choices and dreams...including a wonderful sister! Thanks April for the memorable night!

We are now officially into our mid-semester point in school and were given a fall break with one day off from lecture this week...Avery was able to stay home with me for four days! We had a lot of fun and had a visit from our friends from Utah. We went to a state park for a picnic on Sunday and took them to the Dallas Arboretum on Monday where we enjoyed the kids concert and the fall festivities around the park.

Time is flying by and I am loving this season!

Looking like a big girl

2008-10-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

I'm well aware that this blog has quickly turned into an Avery blog...What can I say? Its pretty much the Avery Show at our house, all the time...But, I love it! This little girl of mine is quickly becoming a very big girl...It took some time for me to come to terms that Avery will be 3 in a matter a month or so...But, after strangers upon strangers have asked me "Is she 3 or 4" I'm starting to see/accept the transformation from toddlerhood that seemed to have taken place overnight. Here are some recent pictures to prove my case...Avery desperately wants a princess bike (w/training wheels) for her birthday...She had a tricycle that had a pushing attachment that I would use to assist her efforts. I told Avery she had to start pedaling on her bike so that she would be ready for a big girl bike so we took out the extra piece...And here you have it. She is now "too cool for school" on this little tricycle...I also love this picture with Avery and her pj's...She is usually the morning sunshine on days that we don't have to get up early for school and this is just a classic example.

My new guy

2008-10-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Had to post some pics of my little nephew, Tanner(Click on the above pic to enlarge-sorry so small). I love getting to hold/babysit/love him as much as possible...Its also been fun just watching April be a mom- she's a natural. Avery also adores Tanner to pieces...She likes to hold him, assist with the diaper/clothes changing, and show him how to play with his toys properly. She is also really good at getting him to smile!

The big time

2008-10-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

Friday, I took Ave to our little town's annual Fall Festival...We had a great time. My favorite part was watching Ave come alive as she enjoyed the carnival rides, food, music, and animals.

New skill

2008-10-02T19:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally came to the realization that I can record videos on my camera...How exciting! So, here it the first video I captured of Ave and I playing in her room...As you will hear, my daughter is actually tryin to get me to take a nap...She enjoys role reversal a little too much but I'm not sure why I refused...

Mom, I'm taking my elephant food shopping...

2008-09-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

This is what I hear from Avery while I'm trying to make dinner tonight...I come out and find this...I love this picture because she looks truly stumped...I think I had asked her what kind of food her elephant likes at the food store..She has started putting her pointer finger to her mouth and saying, "Hmmm" while she thinks before giving me any answers. I think its pretty cute...

Ever wondered what its like to be a student nurse?

2008-09-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

Probably not...But, it is equally fun and stressful...For instance, here's my last week...

Monday- Cardiovascular test...I was stressed...I have never experienced test anxiety like I have in nursing school, this time around. I seriously have problems sleeping the night before which doesn't exactly put me in the best form for test taking... I love the heart and find it to be the most ineresting system, but definitely the hardest! I was beyond relieved to find out I made an 84%, especially since more than 25% of the class failed...

Tuesday/Wednesday- Worked on community assesment/manual...Had to find all the health resources and referrals I could give someone in this small, little town we now live in...Kinda difficult! I did get to meet an awesome school nurse and realized that I would love her job!

Thursday-Clinicals from 6:30am-4pm...I got a thank you card from my patient from last week thanking me, personally, for my care/concern for her...That made my day until a RN got on to me, the team leader for this week's clinicals, for letting another student nurse take a lunch when there was work to be done...The nerve- why should I think we should be granted meal breaks while we work for free?

But then, practice for code check offs with my team...I don't get to pick Ave up from daycare until 5:30...My poor little girl...

Friday- Clinicals again...And experienced my first real code with a real patient....I did chest compressions for fifteen minutes and loved the learning experience until I saw the patient's family, in the corner of my eye...

Sat/today- Code team check offs! We passed! I even got the role I didn't want in the code, the medication nurse...I had to assist the rest of the team,find the IV and give the IV pushes STAT...And I was literally shaking from nerves because of the instructor watching over my shoulder, but we did it. Our mannequin came back to life! At the end, the instructor told us we did a great job and she would feel comfortable with us coding any of her loved ones.

What a week!

The Life of a 2 year old

2008-09-27T18:39:00.000-07:00

Here are some activities of my busy 2 year old...Avery's first love is scissoring. She can spend 30 minutes cutting one piece of construction paper into a hundred "shapes" and then the next 30 minutes glueing them onto another piece of paper. And until she has a little scissor incident (ie:cutting of the hair), I am a big supporter of these cute projects....Secondly, Avery's paintings are always masterpieces...My sister gave her this great art easel for christmas last year, but I was always hesitant to let her begin painting while we lived with them, for some reason...Well, we are now able to paint freely with washable paints and Avery is really cautious during her art time...She asks to paint daily and I have more paintings than I know what to do with, hence the art wall in my office...Lastly, my daughter is now officially a member of generation tech...Our local library has computer games available for check out. Well, last week we brought home Blue's Clues Preschool....I had to show Ave a couple times how to use the mouse and go through the activities...But, as you can see, she is now independently and correctly operating the mouse and playing the game on her own as I make sure, from afar, she's playing nice with my computer.

Deep thoughts

2008-09-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

Well...I just have to write a little about some of the cute things Avery has been saying to me lately. I think this is the funnest age yet, by far...She keeps me laughing daily...Here is a sample of our interesting conversations.

Me: "Avery, what do you want to be for Halloween. You could be a witch, Minnie Mouse, a princess... I think you should be a nurse, like Mommy."

Avery: "No, I want to be a doctor, Mommy."
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Me: "Mommy has a really big test tomorrow Ave."

Avery: "I have a really big boo-boo Mommy." (boo-boo is her word for belly button...thanks to Aunt April and yes, she does have a really big boo-boo)
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As I'm trying to pull the hair rubber-band out of Avery's hair before bedtime, I hear-
Avery: "Ouch, don't pull my tail off mommy."
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Maybe its just a mom thing, but I swear I have the craziest and funniest little girl ever. I am so lucky to be her mom. I'm sure you all will be hearing plenty more in the future...If I don't record our little moments, I won't remember, and that would just be a tragedy.

Jumping on the bandwagon

2008-09-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

I have loved looking at everyone else's blogs for quite some time now...But it really took April getting into it and telling me multiple times "you really need a blog" for me to finally do it...Not that I need any more studying distractions...but I think this is a great way to post pics of Avery and keep up with my friends and family...So, here we go!